I had to mow Ivy Glades which takes 2 hours if I drive the lawn mower like a mad woman. My mom could watch Branson but she absolutely had to pick up my grandma for an appointment by 2:00 which means I would need to be back to get Branson by 1:30ish. It was 11:10. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I latched Branson's car seat into my father-in-law's truck. I latched Branson into the car seat and then I had to run back into the house because I forgot my i-pod and sunglasses (both a must for mowing lawns for two hours.) I hooked up the trailer to the truck, loaded the lawn mower onto the trailer and dropped Branson off at my moms at 11:20. It wasn't until I was headed to Ivy Glades that it occurred to me that the lawn mower was out of gas and I noticed in my rear view mirror that the trailer looked pretty crooked.
I think I'll move to Hawaii.
After driving to the nearest gas station there was a line at every pump. The guy in front of me filled his tank and then nonchalantly headed into the mini mart to do some major grocery shopping. While I was sitting there it dawned on me that I didn't close the garage door at the house and no one was home. OK...so I will have to very quickly swing back by the house and shut the door. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
When it was finally my turn to pump the owner of the store came out and began directing me. I wanted to tell him that "yes I am a woman but I can pull a large trailer through a gas station." Of course I didn't but when I tried to pull farther out past the pump he started waving his arms all crazy and yelled "stop!" There was still tons of room left! Oh well. When I got out he was instructing the lady behind me and he had her pull within two inches of my trailer. Ummmm, see the big tall sides on my trailer. Yeah, I kind of need to put the back of the trailer down so I can put gas in the lawn mower! I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I figured since I was in a hurry and I could reach only one of the lawn mowers gas tanks anyway I would only fill up one side. While I was stretched as far as my 4'11 frame would go...dangling over the tall wooden sides of the trailer...pumping gas into the lawn mower...the guy next to me said, "Hey do you know you have a flat on your trailer?" I assured him that the tire had a slow leak but that it was fine. Getting off the trailer and returning the nozzle to the pump I took a look at the tire...not looking good. I'll have to forget about returning home to shut the garage door cause this baby is only going to make it to Ivy Glades. I wish it could make it to Hawaii.
As I drove the 1/4 mile down the road worrying that someone was going to break into the house while I was gone, I heard the tire blow... then I heard the thumpety thump thump of a completely flat tire. I wasn't stopping for nothing...I pulled into Ivy Glades with a totally flat, steaming hot tire. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I figured I could worry about the trailer later. I was now going to enjoy some peaceful, although speedy, lawn mowing. As soon as I put my headphones in I realized that in my haste I had actually grabbed Anderson's old headphones. Not only do they not fit my ears but they have a terrible short in them. As I mowed, I got to listen to the background music of all my songs with an occasional burst of singing when I moved the cords just right. There also must have been something wrong with Ivy Glades sprinkler system because two of the large areas where I mow were flooded and I had to drive through several inches of water. Next week, I'm going to Hawaii.
I mowed the lawn in record time and loaded the mower back into the trailer. My plan was to unhitch the trailer and leave it and the mower behind while I ran to my mom's to get Branson. Yeah...I couldn't lift the trailer off the hitch with a heavy duty lawn mower on it! So I backed the mower down off the trailer. Even with the mower off, the trailer was extra heavy and totally lopsided with the flat tire. It about killed me, and I injured the muscle in my shoulder trying to get the dang thing off the truck, but I did it! I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
When I went to load up the lawn mower I forgot what happens when a trailer is no longer hooked to a vehicle. As the weight of the mower landed on the trailer the front end sprang up toward me and the mower...I about pooped my pants! Then, of course, when the mower was completely on the trailer it fell back down again and I about pooped my pants for a second time.
With that all done I was ready to roll, until I tried unlocking the drivers side door off the truck and it wouldn't budge for nothing! Kicking it really hard didn't help either. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I unlocked the passenger side door and leaned over Branson's car seat to unlock the door from the inside. Yeah, That didn't work either. Cramming my body even further into the truck, my shoulder was on fire and so was my temper, I finally reached the door handle and pushed the door open. As I was climbing back out of the truck and over the car seat I heard the door swing shut and lock...again. I repeated my contortionist moves to open the door a second time and headed to my moms on time to get Branson. It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Some days are like that.
Even in Hawaii.
